Another country joke.
Two farm workers in a field one day looked up into the sky and saw a
man on the end of a parachute. One said to the other, "You
wouldn’t get me going up in one of them things."
Chalk Hill was our playground.
It had many old disused workings with deep holes and steep cliffs.
The commandos trained there during the war. In the winter,
many of the pits flooded to great depths and we would build rafts
out of forty- five gallon oil drums and sail on them. Others
stood on the shore, threw stones and tried to knock us off.
None of us could swim. When the father of one of us found out
about it, he went mad and, with other men, put holes in every oil
drum in the quarry. We would always find Sand Martin and
Jackdaw nests in the cliffs and we would risk our lives to reach
them.
I was the eldest child in my family
followed two years later by my brother and two years later still by
my sister. When my sister was five years old, she tragically
died from a form of leukaemia. It was an awful shock and my
parents never recovered from it. The whole village was shaken
and upset and people still talk to me about it. It was felt
that we, who had virtually nothing, were cruelly robbed of the
little treasure that we had. The coffin was taken to the
church, as was the custom, on a horse drawn cart and as we made our
way through the village, an RAF lorry, driven by a WAAF stopped and
she saluted. She must have seen by the tiny coffin and the
large number of people walking behind it, that it was an awful
tragedy. Gordon Willerton, Les Smith, Denis Capp and Bill
Barber, who were all teenagers and still at school, carried the
coffin.
When she heard of this sad news, a
lady in the village immediately sent my mother ten shillings (fifty
pence). It was a large amount of money and was probably a very
big percentage of her life savings . She brought up a large family
and was the most feared woman in the village. All children
were afraid of her and did not linger outside her house and even
grown-ups were wary of her strong temper and forceful personality.
Underneath she was clearly a kind and generous lady with a heart of
pure gold, which I have found so often in people with an unpopular
reputation. People who are full of charm, are the centre of
attention and are popular with everyone often have nothing to offer
the world except their charm. They base their whole life on
their own popularity and are often the first to disappear when
anything more is required of them. The rough-cut diamonds are
often the only true friends on whom you can totally rely.
My father broke his leg on the
railway and his income stopped immediately, so as there were no
social security payments then, he applied to what was known as the
"Parish," for financial help. When they discovered that he had
life savings of seven pounds, they told him that he was too rich and
to come back again when he was penniless. When he was
penniless and returned, they gave him two pounds-fifty and told him
that he would have to pay it all back when he returned to work.
My parents told me, although I wasn’t aware of it at the time, that
my grandparents and other kind people in the village gave us food or
we would have had nothing to eat.
My mother’s best and only coat was
made from an old army blanket but it looked fine to me. I'm not a
moaning person and I suppose that could be the reason why. I
cannot possibly complain after seeing how difficult life has been
for others. Most people around us led similar lives, so we
weren't special. I have never been obsessed with the pursuit
of money either. You can live well on very little.
When my brother left school, before
joining the Royal Navy, he worked on a farm, but his heart was not
in it. One of his jobs was to drive the horse drawn rake,
raking up the left over corn. He did this during hot summer
days. People would nudge each other with a broad grin on their
face and say, "Look, he's at it again." The horse would be
contentedly chewing the hedge at the end of the field and my brother
would be fast asleep.
I once went to join some friends
and had to cross a field with a bull in it. The bull was a
long way off in the field to my right but when it saw me, it charged
at me. Although I was a fast runner, it felt as if I was in a
nightmare as I tried to reach the edge of the field before the bull
reached me. Bulls can run like lightning and my legs felt so
heavy and sluggish. I was terrified, as bulls often killed
people, in those days. Suddenly I found myself safely on the
other side of the hedge, but I could not remember getting there.
I looked at the hedge and saw that it was a solid Hawthorn hedge
about twelve feet tall. It was so solid that it seemed
impossible for anyone to pass through it. Either I broke the
world high jump record or a miracle happened. It is still one
of the great mysteries of my life.
One year the Lincolnshire Show was
held at Brocklesby Park, which is just down the road from Melton
Ross, so a friend (also called Bill, but a different Bill) and I
went along to see it. Bill worked for a crop spraying company
and seemed to know everyone there, and whenever we passed a company
hospitality tent, Bill and I were invited in for an excellent lunch
and a lot of drinks. We left the first tent and had not walked
very far, when we were invited in for a second lunch and more
drinks. Being young and fit, we accepted their kind offer with
delight. As we were now quite full and slightly inebriated we
tottered out into the sunshine and weren’t in the least bit
surprised to find ourselves sitting down to a third lunch and more
drinks. We refused all further offers of food after that, but
being the friendly sort, we could not watch people drink alone.
I think it was the happiest day of my life, but I can’t quite
remember. No newts in England were happier that day.
My father worked on the railway.
In the winter when there was dense fog at night the train drivers
could not see the signals, so had to be warned of the position of
the signals by detonators which, when placed on the railway line,
would be set off by the wheels of the railway engine. My
father used to place those detonators on the line and it was my job
to take him his supper late in the evening. He would have sandwiches
and hot tea in a lemonade bottle wrapped in two old socks to keep
the tea warm. He sat in a night-watchman's hut in the middle
of the railway track with a hot fire in a metal container in front
of him. I was quite young and sat with him, with his arm
around me, and stared contentedly at the red-hot coals in the fire,
sometimes sharing his sandwiches and tea. It was about as near as I
have been to paradise.
One of the advantages of working on
the railway was that your family could travel free or almost free
anywhere in the country. One of our annual trips was to Belle
Vue at Manchester, mainly to see the zoo and pleasure rides.
We also, at different times saw wrestling and speedway racing, which
I found very exciting. I told all my friends about the
wonderful things I had seen and done. I don't think they believed me
when I told them about the Tigon, which was a cross between a lion
and a tiger. I was also impressed by the mighty mountains,
called the Pennine Range that we had to travel through on the way
there. The highest point was probably no more than one
thousand seven hundred feet, but when you lived in Lincolnshire that
was colossal. Travelling through Woodhead tunnel, beneath
those mighty mountains was a thrilling experience that none of my
friends had ever had.
Because of the free travel, we
often went to stay with my aunty in the village of Iden, near Rye in
Sussex. We visited Camber Sands which was an empty beach then,
but which, I understand is a thriving seaside resort now. I
saw my first and only county cricket match in Rye, when Sussex
played Kent. I have never seen anything less interesting or
more boring in my life, and still believe that if you want to go
somewhere quiet, where nothing ever happens, you should go to a
cricket match. It could cure your insomnia. Bill Bryson’s
views on cricket are well worth reading. [Continued]
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